Question

Can you write me a commentary on this poem,

The beautiful ocean shines as bright,

As the hot sun in the high sky,

And the waves roll back,

Even when the sky turns pitch black,

I really wanted to swim,

Even when the oceans came to the brim,




don't steal it

Answer 1

Hey! It’s really great, but some little tweaks would make it even more perfect. For example:
The beautiful ocean shines so bright
as the hot sun in the sky
And, as the waves roll back
When the sky turns pitch black
I would really love to swim
Even more when the ocean waves come to the brim

Answer 2

In my opinion, I give you 7/10. That's good