Answer:
Me and my girl friend, Vanessa, collect odd things.
When I say odd, I mean disturbing. Glass jars full of pickled snakes, fish, slugs, and any other gross creature we happen to like. We have bones scattered everywhere around our house in the forms of jewelry, wall pieces, art, statues, ect. We have dead taxidermy mice, snakes, squirrels, and even a cat that used to be Vanessa's. We don't pickle or taxidermy them ourselves, we just find them from scary estate sales, antique sales, or stores.
One day, while looking for an anniversary gift for Vanessa, I came across a black magic shop. I know she likes the concept of black magic, and very creepy things, so I decided to go in. The shop smelled like old socks and cloves, and it was dark. There were books of all kinds, spices, jars, sage sticks, and different charms around the entire store. As I was looking around the store, a man comes out from the back of the shop, holding a box full of bottles.
"Can I help you with anything?" The man asked, and I nodded.
"Uh, yeah, my girl friend and I have been together for about 5 years, and I was looking for an anniversary gift for her. Got any ideas for me? She really likes odd things, ya' know?"
He nods, and beckons me over to the counter. I put down the jar I was examining, and walk over. He disappears into the back again, and comes back out with a doll that is made out of wood.
"Does she like dolls? Maybe she'll like to have Karlie. I've been looking for a home for her for many years, but well... You know the stigma of scary looking dolls. She isn't haunted, I promise, just a little odd looking." He explained, and I was ecstatic. Yeah, the doll looked scary, but the scarier the better, honestly. It means Vanessa would like it even more. It's head was very round, with painted rosy cheeks and dark painted on eyes. It's nose and ears were sticking out, and it's hair was made of yarn.
"Oh, my God. She'll love it. She has an entire room at home full of weird dolls and such. Thank you so much sir! How much?" I asked, pulling out my wallet.
"Oh, no. You don't have to pay anything. Karlie here has been living in my shop for so long, she's free. Take her." He said, smiling at the doll then holding her out for me. "You take good care of her now," he says. "If you ever need her repaired, just bring her back here. I'll do it for free."
I was a little shocked by how nice he was being, but nodded in agreement. "Of course. My girl friend takes care of all her stuff."
Later that evening, after we had dinner and went on a well deserved date night, it was time for me to give her the gift.
"Hey, I got you something." I said, and picked up the shoe box from the floor beside the couch, and handed it to her.
"Oh, thank you, Kevin! I love it so, so much!" She said after she opened it, flinging her arms around me. "What's her name?"
"Karlie. The man at the store called her Karlie. She'll look good with the rest of your collection, huh?" I asked, and she nodded enthusiastically, hugging the doll to her chest.
"I love you, Kevin," She said, and I smiled.
That night, she decided to sleep with the doll in our room, and I had no objections. I was just so glad that she loved it, I didn't care what she did with it. She can be hard to shop for, since she's already seen everything weird and has everything she could want.
But, later that night, I swore I could hear a baby crying. I woke up to hear Vanessa talking quietly, and a baby crying so loud that it was almost ear splitting.
"Shh, shh, it's okay Karlie, I know he gave you away, but I'm gonna take good care of you." My heart stopped. You'd think someone who collects the most odd things imaginable would be used to scary things happening, but really, that's not true. This has never happened before. Watching my girl friend talk to a crying doll that I swear wasn't alive earlier is one of the weirdest things that has ever happened. Ever.
"Vanessa? Why are you talking to the doll?" I asked, she looked at me like I was a dunce.
"Her father just gave her away like that. The man who created her, the shop owner." She explained to me, cradling the wooden baby.
Instead of freaking out, like any sane person would, I just nodded. I nodded and let her cradle that baby, and act like it was real. I heard it too, so she's not the only one. I never even really questioned it after a while, just kind of went with it.
I don't exactly remember when we started treating it like a real baby, but it just sort of happened. Vanessa wanted the doll to keep from getting mad, so she gave her the best life she possibly could. And I just went with it. I mean, what else could you do? So that is how we became parents. Of a wooden doll.