Dear Bff or best friends.
When I was in year 10 I made the worst decision of my life. I left school never to return again. I was a good student; I never caused trouble and always did what I was told during lessons. But things weren’t great, and mostly I loathed the prospect of attending.
I often refused to get up and constantly argued with my parents about playing truant – the majority of the time I won; my attendance was shocking.
The reason? I was a fat loser. I was constantly being picked on because I was overweight. I was quiet and shy and I never defended myself. I couldn’t concentrate in class for all the abuse: once I was shot in the back.
The bullying was a day-to-day occurrence. I never told the teachers; people always say tell someone, but in reality, when you’re at school no one believes that it will help. A couple of months into the beginning of year 10 I’d had enough.
One day I was a pupil at the school, the next I wasn’t. I didn’t even tell anyone I was leaving; I just knew I wasn’t going back. A lot of people ask me why I didn’t change school: I just didn’t want to be the new kid at another school after everything I had experienced.
A year passed before a youth careers organisation contacted me. I was sent to a place called Springboard, for young people who’ve left school early. It was the worst place for me, there were lots of kids there who were disruptive and would smoke, scream and shout during lessons.
I left after three weeks, I was knocked back even further. The careers organisation arranged interviews for colleges, but I didn’t turn up. A part of me couldn’t be bothered, but mostly I wanted to avoid situations where I had to meet new people my own age.
Obviously my education suffered by leaving school. I’ve got no GCSEs. My development as a person also suffered – I struggled with confidence and I have found it difficult to communicate with other young people. Getting back into education is helping me develop areas of my life that I should have sorted years ago. I blame myself as much as the bullies at school. Maybe I should have ignored their jibes and got on with it.