Answer:
Dear Diary,
I cannot believe the turn of events that has taken place in my life. I, Katniss Everdeen, from District 12, am now The Mockingjay. The beacon of hope for all the districts. Who would have thought that the girl who was once just trying to keep her family alive, would now be the symbol of a rebellion.
It's not something I ever asked for or wanted, but I understand why I am where I am. People are looking up to me, and it's a responsibility that I cannot take lightly. But sometimes, I feel so trapped. The Capitol has taken so much from me. It's hard to breathe sometimes, let alone become a figurehead for a rebellion.
I can't help but think about my loved ones back home. Gale, my childhood friend, who's always been there for me. Even though we have our differences, I cannot imagine my life without him. And Peeta, the boy with the bread. He's managed to crawl his way into my heart, and I can't shake him off. He's always been there for me, but now, I can't even be there for him.
The Capitol has Peeta, and I am unable to save him. It's like I am constantly being forced to choose, and the choices are never easy. I am a survivor, but at what cost? I wonder if I am just as bad as the people we are trying to overthrow. Am I any different from them?
As I write this, I itch on the skin where I received tracker jacker stings. I replay the Hunger Games, and realize that they've never really ended for me. Like a nightmare that has come to life, it never left me. And now, I am one of the players in the game at a much larger scale. I am The Mockingjay, and I don't know how to feel about it.
But despite all of this, I still have hope. Hope that we can win this war, and bring about a better future. Hope that Peeta will come back to us safe and sound. Hope that Gale and I can still be friends when this is all over.
For now, I'll continue to do what I can. I'll try to be the soldier that everyone needs me to be. But tonight, I'll allow myself to just be Katniss. To grieve what I've lost, and to hope for the future.
Until