Question

I would Like to check if my Introduction Paragraph Is good?

The United States is currently more divided than it has ever been in history. That is just crazy, though the people of the United States, are doing better in recent years. Some people still need help, but with the help of these 10 simple ways of conversation, they could of a better conversation. What are these 10 simple ways? That is easy, these 10 ways were introduced by Celeste Headlee, in her TED Talk, “10 ways to have a better conversation.”

Is there anything I should work on? Anything I need to fix? I feel like there is something, but I can't figure it out.

Answer 1

Answer: Your introduction paragraph sets the context of the topic well and states your argument clearly. However, there are a few things that could be improved:

Clarity: The sentence "That is just crazy, though the people of the United States, are doing better in recent years" could be clearer and more concise.

Connections: It would be helpful to connect the current state of division in the United States with the topic of the TED Talk.

Transitions: The transition from the current state of the United States to the topic of the TED Talk could be smoother.

Overall, your introduction is a good start, but some minor revisions could help to make it clearer and more engaging.

Step-by-step explanation: