Question

PLS help me write a thesis statement for a personal narrative essay

my teacher wants a thesis statement that really engages with the reader, and has a lot more detail, and is interesting. example:

A good thesis statement: "A few years ago, I was in an accident that changed my life."
A BETTER thesis statement: "After breaking my arm in a car accident, I learned that acing a test can bring about the same personal satisfaction as playing football."

Here is my "good" thesis statement: "Quitting video games changed my life by helping me be more patient and focused."
Help me write a "better" thesis statement by: engaging with the reader, using more detail, and is interesting

what my essay is about: how quitting video games changed me for the better (write the thesis statement about this) (it changed my making me more focused and more patient)

And if you can PLS give me multiple thesis statement to choose from

Answer 1

Answer: While People can communicate through multiplayer, quitting video games can help people with focus issues and patience issues. It can make people more focused, and It can make people more patient.