Answer:
I don't think the paragraph catches attention.
Step-by-step explanation:
The paragraph appears to be a persuasive text, and to make your text successful in changing others' mindsets, it needs to be appealing enough for the readers to go through all the way. It does follow TBEAR elements, but it is too dull to change anything. To make it worthy of readers' attention, you have to keep evidence short. Ignore the parts of the evidence that is not necessary.
If I got it wrong, I will return the points to you through another question. Have a good day! :)