I think its more of understanding and just knowing where you stand. But not forgiving is technically not holding a grudge/// More like not letting the person getting close as you once were but moving forward. 2. Forgiving is not forgetting. To forgive more you should ALWAYS look at things the way the other person is/would look at it. Put yourself in their shoes. 3. You have to understand why they did what they did or at least hear/listen to what they have to say. You should always listen, because maybe there was a misunderstanding.