Question

Read each statement and decide whether it is clear and concise or wordy and unclear. The community center is good for everyone to do all kinds of fun things when they want. The proposed program will give every student in the county access to tutoring services. Installing recycle bins at key points around the city will make recycling easier for our residents. Many people have said there are not enough security guards at the mall, so the mall is unsafe and dangerous, and people don't want to shop there.

Answer 1

The community center is good for everyone to do all kinds of fun things when they want. (wordy and unclear)

The proposed program will give every student in the county access to tutoring services. (clear and concise)

Installing recycle bins at key points around the city will make recycling easier for our residents. (clear and concise)

Many people have said there are not enough security guards at the mall, so the mall is unsafe and dangerous, and people don’t want to shop there (wordy and unclear)

Answer 2

• The community center is good for everyone to do all kinds of fun things when they want. (wordy and unclear) This sentence uses too many words with clauses that confuse the reader. Another way to express the same could be: “The community center provides fun activities for everyone”

• The proposed program will give every student in the county access to tutoring services. (clear and concise) This sentence is easily read since it does not use many words to express the main ideas.

• Installing recycle bins at key points around the city will make recycling easier for our residents. (clear and concise) This sentence is easily read since it does not use many words to express the main ideas.

• Many people have said there are not enough security guards at the mall, so the mall is unsafe and dangerous, and people don't want to shop there. (wordy and unclear) This sentence uses too many words with clauses that confuse the reader. Another way to express the same could be: “There aren’t enough security guards in the mall so people think it is dangerous and unsafe to shop there.”