174,116 views
14 votes
14 votes
Can someone check and Edit ate my essay is due today please

It was my third class in identity and inequality course of cooper mans college prep in TCNJ. We have been learning about the concept of unhomeliness in a postcolonial sense, where people have the feeling of being caught between two clashing cultures, which comes hand in hand with double consciousness, which is the feeling of your identity being divided into several parts. As an immigrant, this concept has been impactful, since I've felt this way and didn't know what it was. I left my country when I was around 11 to 12 years old, to find a better future and opportunities. I've been living in the United States for 4 Years. During that period of time, I felt like I was nowhere, not here nor there. I was just trying to adapt to this culture, language and environment.
At that moment, I didn't feel divided into two cultures. I was just trying to not feel out of place. In the third year, my family and I decided to visit my country, Ecuador. When we arrived there, everything was the same as the day I left, and I felt like I never left, but at the same time something didn't feel right, like at the same time I wasn't supposed to be there. When I came back to the US, I also felt the same way, like I never left, but I wasn't supposed to be here. The capacity of the mind and feelings is really amazing. Knowing this word helps you realize when you felt like you didn't belong, and it makes you connect to those experiences of confusion where you didn't know what you were feeling to finally? word and a definition. An example is when immigrants are in a different country where they don't feel identified and feel like they have to be a different person with a different culture to be part of that country. This topic really interest me, I would like to deepen my acknowledgement about how these two concepts act in the lives of different individuals

User Jimish Fotariya
by
2.8k points

2 Answers

15 votes
15 votes

I edited the essay for you. Double-check to make sure this is how you want to come across. It was really just grammar and punctuation...

It was my third class in Cooperman's College Prep's Identity and inequality course at TCNJ. We had been learning about the concept of unhomeliness in a postcolonial sense, where people have the feeling of being caught between two clashing cultures. This comes hand in hand with double consciousness or the feeling of your identity being divided into several parts. This concept has been impactful to me as an immigrant since I have felt this way and could not place the feeling. I left my country at around eleven to twelve years old to find a better future and opportunities for myself. I've been living in the United States for four years. During that period, I felt like I was nowhere, not here nor there. I was trying to adapt to this culture, language, and environment that was foreign to me.

In the third year of my schooling, my family and I decided to visit my country, Ecuador. At that moment, I didn't feel divided into two cultures. I was trying not to feel out of place. When we arrived there, everything was the same as the day I left, but something didn't feel right at the same time. I had a gut feeling that I wasn't supposed to be there. When I came back to the US, I also felt the same way, like I never left, but I wasn't supposed to be there. The capacity of the mind and feelings is amazing. Knowing this word helps you realize when you felt like you didn't belong, and it connects you to those experiences of confusion where you didn't know what you were feeling to finally? Word and a definition. An example is when immigrants are in a different country where they don't feel identified and feel like they have to be another person with a different culture to be part of that country. This topic interests me, and I would like to deepen my acknowledgment of how these two concepts act in the lives of different individuals.

User Kimh
by
3.0k points
15 votes
15 votes
It’s great but you used too many commas in the first paragraph. Split it into sentences with periods so the flow is smooth.
User Adnan Khan
by
2.4k points