181,785 views
40 votes
40 votes
Please check my grammar

Throughout history, women have been healers and caretakers, playing multiple roles as pharmacists, nurses, midwives, counselors, physicians, and “wise women”. Yet it hasn't always been easy women have been abused and considered second-class citizens for a long time. Although women have suffered atrocities they are fighting back and breaking stereotypes of what women are “supposed” to be.

In much of history, and across many cultures women have been second-class citizens. Social expectations of women were very different from those today, their chief roles were mother and wife. Any money they had went to their husbands on marriage. The particular reason for this circumstance is that professions or roles that provided money were barred from women. Despite this, many women did exceptional things like flying a plane alone without assistance. However, until the 1970s most of history was written by and about men. Historians and archeologists often assumed that most women's activities were domestic and uninteresting. Therefore they were not worth recording and researching. Because of the way history was thought out, the few female accounts that were recorded were generally about royalty and aristocracy. The neglect of women's histories perpetuates the inequality of the past.

In every country of the world, women are still the primary caretakers of elders and children. (Gran The global role of women - caretakers, conscience, farmers, educators and entrepreneurs). However international studies demonstrate that when the economy, political organization, and social change women take the lead in helping the family adjust to new realities and challenges. In comparison to how women were treated in the past, they are still paid less than men, and with age, the gap widens. (Dowell Women consistently earn less than men United states census bureau) . Although the gender gap has narrowed as younger women increase their education level and break into occupations traditionally dominated by men. As a result of this, we can see more women in higher positions like the vice president, senate, lawyers, and mayors. Despite the progress of the past half a century, most of the world still has much to improve.

In conclusion, the position has improved and will keep improving. As we look at the way women are represented we should make an effort to change our occupations and break barriers. Obstacles like the first female president and equal pay.

User Guice
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2 Answers

14 votes
14 votes

In the second paragraph, the 9th sentence you started your sentence with because. I don't see anything else but other than that I really like your essay :)

User Rob Cameron
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2.9k points
10 votes
10 votes

i can't really give you all the errors itemized here (sorry ;;;;)

but here's a link to a free grammar checking website !! it's a very good essay btw :]

writer.com/grammar-checker/

User PoWar
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3.3k points