Question

Read the paragraph below carefully and answer the question that follows.

1 My name is Maddox Smith. 2I am the Treasurer of the San Marcos High School Charity Club. 3We're having a canned food drive. 4This event is going to be off the hook and raise lots of dough for the homeless peeps. 5It's just two weeks away and I am writing to ask for your help. 6The Charity Club is planning to place collection boxes for canned food items at various local stores. 7We'd love it if you would allow us to place a bin at Shop Mart. 8All of the collections from the food drive will go to the local food bank to be sent out to local families who are really, super poor.

Choose the revision of sentence 8 that is most appropriate for a persuasive proposal.

All of the collections from the food drive will go to the local food bank to be sent out to local families who are in need of the service.
All of the collections from the food drive will go to the local food bank to be sent out to local families who are really needy.
All of the collections from the food drive will go to the local food bank to be sent out to local families who do not have any money or food.
All of the collections from the food drive will go to the local food bank to be sent out to local families who can't afford food because they spend their money unwisely.
The sentence is appropriate as is.

Answer 1

Answer: All of the collections from the food drive will go to the local food bank to be sent out to local families who are in need of the service.

The first option is the best revision of this sentence. The sentence avoids using slang, overly casual language or contractions. Moreover, it does not make any negative assumptions about the people who will receive the help (unlike the last option, which assumes these people are irresponsible). Finally, it does not use any adjectives that could be seen as offensive. Therefore, this is the most appropriate way to end the paragraph.